The angels whispered prophecy into my mother's ear and she named me Robert Jonah.
Kabbalah teaches that parents are given "one sixth prophecy to choose a name for their child." Throughout the Torah, names are profoundly significant.
Three years ago today on Taslich, I elevated my Hebrew middle name Jonah. Prior to that I was known most commonly by my first name, Bobby, in my childhood years.
My personal Jewish identity is entwined with Jonah from the Book of Jonah. However, my personal understanding of the Book of Jonah did not quite fit with what I have been taught by my Rabbis over my lifetime.
I have always felt the Rabbis where missing an important part of the story.
Three years ago today on Taslich, I elevated my Hebrew middle name Jonah. Prior to that I was known most commonly by my first name, Bobby, in my childhood years.
My personal Jewish identity is entwined with Jonah from the Book of Jonah. However, my personal understanding of the Book of Jonah did not quite fit with what I have been taught by my Rabbis over my lifetime.
I have always felt the Rabbis where missing an important part of the story.
This midrash expresses my personal interpretation of The Book of Jonah. This is the 5th chapter in a five part series which I began 3 years ago.
The first four chapters set an important foundation for this chapter. Here are links to all of them including the explanation of how my journey from Robert to Jonah started.
Call Me By My Other Name.
Chapter I.
Chapter II.
Chapter III.
Chapter IV.
This 5th chapter has been missing all my life. (See footnote below.) In order to write this 5th chapter I needed a revelation.The first four chapters set an important foundation for this chapter. Here are links to all of them including the explanation of how my journey from Robert to Jonah started.
Call Me By My Other Name.
Chapter I.
Chapter II.
Chapter III.
Chapter IV.
Before I could write this 5th chapter, the 5th chapter had to write itself in my life.Each of my four previous chapters were written in first person and this one is as well. So now, as I literally start to write my midrash I will be writing as though I am the "Jonah" who is speaking to God. I pray for the words to come to me NOW.
My Midrash begins:
Oh mighty God, when Nimrod built Babel You delivered judgment by Your own hand. Nimrod built Nineveh too, and there is much wickedness in the name of their false gods.
I know that it is not sinners that You seek God. But Nineveh is a warring and lustful city filled by mine enemies. No place has been more deserving of Your judgment.
Such is the fate for any place that turns from You and follows the way of false gods or the ways of Man.
As it is written Deuteronomy 12:2You must utterly destroy all the places where the nations that you will dispossess served their gods—on the high mountains and on the hills and under every green tree.3You are to tear down their altars, smash their pillars, burn their Asherah poles in the fire and cut down the carved images of their gods, and you are to obliterate their name from that place.
There is no place for one to hide from Your sight LORD. Nor am I ashamed of my nakedness like Adam & Eve. Lest they say of me otherwise I do declare, I didn't abandon your calling God. I objected to it!
But who am I to bring the threat of the ONE God they do not know in Nineveh? YET, It is not the fear of death that sends me running! I know Your power.
It is the fear of offering my enemies an opportunity for redemption that frightens me. For I also know Your power to forgive.
I would rather die than give the Assyrians fair warning of Your coming and offer them the chance to ask for and receive Your forgiveness. How could I do this to my people? How can You God? Bring Your judgment down!
Is it Judgment you wish to declare, or forgiveness you wish to provide? Do you send me to save my worst enemies?
I sought You for greater understanding. In the hull of the ship on it's way to Tarshis I called for You in my dreams. But You delivered no response.
Only the captain spoke. Your great seas were angry on my account.
In my loneliness I knew I sinned by failing to follow Your command. There was a price to be paid. A sacrifice to be made.
Cast me off! Let the sailors not die on my account. Send me into the deep. Deliver me to Your judgment!
But lo and behold, You forsake me not. Three days inside the deep. Then You returned me from the deep with fresh eyes and clear conviction.
You filled me with needed understanding. I went to Nineveh with great Thanksgiving. Firm was my belief that the Ninivites would forsake their own welfare by continuing to cling to the folly of their ways and to their gods. Deliverance would be the LORDS! Hallelujah!!
Knowing what I believed I ran to You by going to Nineveh to declare Your judgment in 40 days. I went with complete and unwavering faith. I went with a new life which belongs to you. I had no fear. Why should I fear, when Your Temple awaits me.
I took care and listened to your command that it may go well for my children and their children after me. Nineveh was to be cut off and dispossessed. For every abomination of You which You hate the people there have done. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods. [Deut. 12:31] No good fruit can come from a tree in Nineveh. The city must be cut down.
Unlike your other prophets I went without any signs or miracles to display. I went without David's sling or Judah's army. I went to do Your command with only Your word.
Such is the Power of Your Word delivered by Your faithful and fearless servant. I was Your Trumpet blast and they heard You in all the land. Every person in Nineveh trembled in awe. They didn't turn to their gods. They turned to the ONE GOD.
All the people, including their king, bowed down and repented. Not to my surprise, but rather to my great regret.
From the hillside I watched and waited. I waited for Your judgment to come down on Nineveh. And when You sparred my enemies it saddened me deeply. So deeply LORD that I wished to die again.
I had gone to Nineveh to see the evil city receive Your judgment, not Your forgiveness.
But it was not to be Your will. I had done your will. And Your will WAS done. I should have rejoiced. Instead I morned.
I knew You were a compassionate God. My greatest fear was realized -- that You would grant forgiveness rather than deliver judgment on the city of Nineveh.
In my loneliness You came to me again. With a short lesson in the form of shade tree. But it is not Your capacity to offer forgiveness to sinners that confuses me.
A great tragedy has occurred. What of Your chosen people? By doing Your Will have I not delivered Your people to mine enemies?
Your decision to spare the Assyrians is a great tragedy for the ages. What have I done? How do your people reconcile Your ways God?
I thought I knew better when you raised me from the deep and set me on the shore to go to Nineveh. But little did I know. There was a greater lesson for me to learn. Little did I know that You had another purpose for me. I was to be a great sign of Your forgiveness.
Through my story I was to foretell an even greater story. My sadness would become joy to the world.
My life was to be a lesson. Tragedy befalls us throughout history and in our lives. If these are by Your hand we ask, "have you no compassion on us?" But if these tragedy are the price for our sins how are we to satisfy You? We fail again and again. Even Jacob, Moses and King David failed You.
What of Nineveh? How can they be worthy of Your Promise Land while Moses is not?!
You have given us a sign. There is no greater sign of Your capacity for forgiveness. No greater sign that your gates remain open until the last moment. Even to a sinner. Even to a city of sinners.
But even a great city filled with Your chosen people will be judged if they fail and follow other nations and the ways of Men.
You, the One and only God provided me with a great gift - a gift that is rarely accepted. The chance to be born again in Your waters. You have given us the opportunity to make new choices. To choose the path You wish for us all - that we may follow Your ways and serve you.
You have proven by Your Acts that You are always ready to forgive us. This is the lesson of Nineveh. But what of me, your servant. I did Your will and now I must bear the burden of knowing that I have delivered my enemies to You to be spared.
But who am I to bring the threat of the ONE God they do not know in Nineveh? YET, It is not the fear of death that sends me running! I know Your power.
It is the fear of offering my enemies an opportunity for redemption that frightens me. For I also know Your power to forgive.
I would rather die than give the Assyrians fair warning of Your coming and offer them the chance to ask for and receive Your forgiveness. How could I do this to my people? How can You God? Bring Your judgment down!
Is it Judgment you wish to declare, or forgiveness you wish to provide? Do you send me to save my worst enemies?
I sought You for greater understanding. In the hull of the ship on it's way to Tarshis I called for You in my dreams. But You delivered no response.
Only the captain spoke. Your great seas were angry on my account.
In my loneliness I knew I sinned by failing to follow Your command. There was a price to be paid. A sacrifice to be made.
Cast me off! Let the sailors not die on my account. Send me into the deep. Deliver me to Your judgment!
But lo and behold, You forsake me not. Three days inside the deep. Then You returned me from the deep with fresh eyes and clear conviction.
You filled me with needed understanding. I went to Nineveh with great Thanksgiving. Firm was my belief that the Ninivites would forsake their own welfare by continuing to cling to the folly of their ways and to their gods. Deliverance would be the LORDS! Hallelujah!!
Knowing what I believed I ran to You by going to Nineveh to declare Your judgment in 40 days. I went with complete and unwavering faith. I went with a new life which belongs to you. I had no fear. Why should I fear, when Your Temple awaits me.
I took care and listened to your command that it may go well for my children and their children after me. Nineveh was to be cut off and dispossessed. For every abomination of You which You hate the people there have done. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods. [Deut. 12:31] No good fruit can come from a tree in Nineveh. The city must be cut down.
Unlike your other prophets I went without any signs or miracles to display. I went without David's sling or Judah's army. I went to do Your command with only Your word.
Such is the Power of Your Word delivered by Your faithful and fearless servant. I was Your Trumpet blast and they heard You in all the land. Every person in Nineveh trembled in awe. They didn't turn to their gods. They turned to the ONE GOD.
All the people, including their king, bowed down and repented. Not to my surprise, but rather to my great regret.
From the hillside I watched and waited. I waited for Your judgment to come down on Nineveh. And when You sparred my enemies it saddened me deeply. So deeply LORD that I wished to die again.
I had gone to Nineveh to see the evil city receive Your judgment, not Your forgiveness.
But it was not to be Your will. I had done your will. And Your will WAS done. I should have rejoiced. Instead I morned.
I knew You were a compassionate God. My greatest fear was realized -- that You would grant forgiveness rather than deliver judgment on the city of Nineveh.
In my loneliness You came to me again. With a short lesson in the form of shade tree. But it is not Your capacity to offer forgiveness to sinners that confuses me.
A great tragedy has occurred. What of Your chosen people? By doing Your Will have I not delivered Your people to mine enemies?
Your decision to spare the Assyrians is a great tragedy for the ages. What have I done? How do your people reconcile Your ways God?
I thought I knew better when you raised me from the deep and set me on the shore to go to Nineveh. But little did I know. There was a greater lesson for me to learn. Little did I know that You had another purpose for me. I was to be a great sign of Your forgiveness.
Through my story I was to foretell an even greater story. My sadness would become joy to the world.
My life was to be a lesson. Tragedy befalls us throughout history and in our lives. If these are by Your hand we ask, "have you no compassion on us?" But if these tragedy are the price for our sins how are we to satisfy You? We fail again and again. Even Jacob, Moses and King David failed You.
What of Nineveh? How can they be worthy of Your Promise Land while Moses is not?!
You have given us a sign. There is no greater sign of Your capacity for forgiveness. No greater sign that your gates remain open until the last moment. Even to a sinner. Even to a city of sinners.
But even a great city filled with Your chosen people will be judged if they fail and follow other nations and the ways of Men.
You, the One and only God provided me with a great gift - a gift that is rarely accepted. The chance to be born again in Your waters. You have given us the opportunity to make new choices. To choose the path You wish for us all - that we may follow Your ways and serve you.
You have proven by Your Acts that You are always ready to forgive us. This is the lesson of Nineveh. But what of me, your servant. I did Your will and now I must bear the burden of knowing that I have delivered my enemies to You to be spared.
The people of Nineveh love darkness, they will go back to their evil ways. And when the evil spirit returns it will bring seven times more evil. The condition in Nineveh will be worse than first for this evil generation.
You knew this God. This is Your prophecy, not mine. What lesson is there which You can give me to help me bear my pain for the evil that the people of Nineveh will bring upon my people?
So terrible was my sadness that I wished to die, again. The same death I wished for on the boat to Tarshis for the same reason I first refused to go to Nineveh.
I cry out to You NOW, today, through my midrash.
The path back is your Word. And even that must be guarded because ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing are always seeking to confuse us.
The evil did return to Nineveh. But it was not for me to judge what is in their hearts' on the day You accepted their repentance as sufficient.
Tragedy tests our faith. Tragedy can also return us to You.
But it is Hate in our heart, and the ways of Man with false and no Gods, which takes us from a path to You.
We needn't fear sheep in wool. It is Wolves in sheep's clothing that speak to deceive us.
Therefore until our last breath, we must always seek You through Your Word. We must inscribe Your Word in all places before our way. So we do Your way. Then upon our last breadth we will be received to You.
I see, through my midrash, that You have sent Jonah to be a sign that it is not sinners that You seek. Rather it is sinners that You seek to save. The fearless ONE with pure faith and passion can show the way to even the most lost sinners. You have used my enemies to strengthen the faith of future generations.
You knew this God. This is Your prophecy, not mine. What lesson is there which You can give me to help me bear my pain for the evil that the people of Nineveh will bring upon my people?
So terrible was my sadness that I wished to die, again. The same death I wished for on the boat to Tarshis for the same reason I first refused to go to Nineveh.
I cry out to You NOW, today, through my midrash.
How am I to understand your mysterious ways?You answered me. Now I see how your answer was there for me since the beginning of Man.
We were never meant to judge the good and evil in another's heart.Once we walked together in the Garden. When we chose to eat from the Tree of Knowledge we had to leave the Garden.
The path back is your Word. And even that must be guarded because ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing are always seeking to confuse us.
The evil did return to Nineveh. But it was not for me to judge what is in their hearts' on the day You accepted their repentance as sufficient.
Tragedy tests our faith. Tragedy can also return us to You.
But it is Hate in our heart, and the ways of Man with false and no Gods, which takes us from a path to You.
We needn't fear sheep in wool. It is Wolves in sheep's clothing that speak to deceive us.
Therefore until our last breath, we must always seek You through Your Word. We must inscribe Your Word in all places before our way. So we do Your way. Then upon our last breadth we will be received to You.
I see, through my midrash, that You have sent Jonah to be a sign that it is not sinners that You seek. Rather it is sinners that You seek to save. The fearless ONE with pure faith and passion can show the way to even the most lost sinners. You have used my enemies to strengthen the faith of future generations.
As for me, I will stay here where You have sent me. Your question gives my life new purpose. I put my life in your hands.
I tested your Word. My midrash is such a test. By faith and Your Grace your Temple awaits me.
Baruch Hashem
Jonah, Jonah
Footnote: The 5th letter of the Hebrew alphabet is Hei, pronounced "Hey." The ancient symbol for Hei looks like a man with his arms raised. The symbol of Hei has the meanings: Look, Reveal, Breath.
The numerical equivalent of Hei is the number 5. In gematria Hei is associated with revalation and grace.
I tested your Word. My midrash is such a test. By faith and Your Grace your Temple awaits me.
Baruch Hashem
Jonah, Jonah
Footnote: The 5th letter of the Hebrew alphabet is Hei, pronounced "Hey." The ancient symbol for Hei looks like a man with his arms raised. The symbol of Hei has the meanings: Look, Reveal, Breath.
The numerical equivalent of Hei is the number 5. In gematria Hei is associated with revalation and grace.
More on the Hebrew Gematria of Five: Not only does the hei represent the garments of thought, speech and action, but these garments comprise a total of five elements: Two levels of thought, imaginative and meditative; two levels of speech, the words of the heart and the words of the lips; and one level of action.
Hei/Five also signifies the five levels of the soul:
nefesh, ruach, neshamah, chayah and yechidah. The fifth tier, yechidah, means union.
nefesh, ruach, neshamah, chayah and yechidah. The fifth tier, yechidah, means union.
