I was sitting in the front row reserved for family. During the service, a worship song was played that I recognized as one my wife Mary and my mother-in-law Margaret would sing together with passion during other funeral services that I had attended with them.
As this song was being played I closed my eyes to better remember my mother-in-law. That's when something mysterious happened. I had a vision of Margaret in heaven. The colors in my vision were brilliant and as I saw her I felt undescribable peace. Looking into another realm, I was so overwhelmed that I began to cry. I sobbed like I never have before or since. I literally put both hands over my mouth and tried to silence myself but I couldn't. Margaret was walking away from me towards "the place." At one point she turned and looked back over her shoulder at me with a tranquil knowing smile. It was like she was saying to me, "I will see you again."
As we left the church, I had some explaining to do to my family that was sitting beside me. I told them that Margaret was in heaven and that she's more joyful than I've ever seen her. I told them to trust me, but I couldn't explain how I knew. It was just one of those moments where they thought, I was being very weird. They were right, it was weird for sure and I will never forgot it.
Fast forward fourteen years. My wife's brother Bobby, to whom she is very close, has been fighting cancer and other respiratory diseases for over a decade. He survived many years beyond his terminal diagnosis because he fought so hard to hold on to life. But the time had finally come for Bobby to surrender.
This week I was going to the hospital to sèe Bobby for the last time. Hopice was prescribed and palliative care had begun. He'd be "transitioning" very soon. Bobby was well aware of what was happening. It was his decision. He knew his health battle was over. But was he ready to surrender to God or simply to death?
Before the trip to the hospital, I prayed for the right words to say to Bobby. Of course, I wanted to express my love and admiration for him. I wanted to tell him some stories that might generate happy memories and perhaps give him a little chuckle. I also wanted to say something that would help him to pass on. Truthfully, I wanted to give him hope on his journey.
Before the trip to the hospital, I started my day at the Dutchess County Prayer Breakfast. On the 6:30 AM ride over to the hotel, I called my good friend Steven and asked him to pray with me for the words to say to Bobby. At the Prayer Breakfast, the first speaker on a large panel of speakers provided the words I needed. When he read them, I immediately knew they were perfect. I didn't recognize them but I was certain that I needed a copy of those words to read to Bobby.
After the breakfast was over, I approached the speaker, who is also a Dutchess County supreme court judge. He told me that he read the lyrics to a song based on scriptures. He brought the lyrics up for me, which I copied on to my phone.
As I was walking out the door I saw a young man named Rocky who I know has a very strong faith. I asked him to pray with me that the words that I was about to read would be received by Bobby and help him to know that he had a future ahead of him. I asked Rocky to pray with me that there would be a sign that would assure me that Bobby was moved and had hope. Now, I had everything I needed and headed over to the hospital.
After greeting Bobby's daughters, I sat in a chair bedside Bobby's bedside. Bobby took my hand and my arm in his hands. Listening intently, Bobby gestured now and again to show his appreciation. Smiling at times, he also tried as best as he could to respond. It was time to tell him I wanted to read him the words I had from the prayer breakfast. As I did, I could see he was visibly moved.
Finally, after spending some time with his children, who were also in the room, it was time to leave the hospital. I approached Bobby's bedside for what would be the last time. We both said I love you. Then I leaned over him, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said "goodbye Bobby." He struggled to say something through his oxygen mask that I will never forget. Bobby said, "I will see you soon." That was the sign! He had hope!!
After I left the hospital, I looked up the words again on my phone that the judge read at the Prayer Breakfast and that I read to Bobby. This time the song came up that they were from. That's the moment I realized they were from the song that was playing in the church at Margaret's funeral when I saw her in a vision. Bobby must have heard his mother sing that song dozens of times.
The song is "Be Not Afraid." Listen to it while reading the lyrics below.
Lyrics:
Heard at 12th DC Prayer Breakfast
Read by the Honorable Judge Edward McLoughlin
Be Not Afraid by
Song by St. Louis Jesuits ‧ 1975
You shall cross the barren desert
But you shall not die of thirst
You shall wander far in safety
Though you do not know the way
You shall speak your words to foreign men
And they will understand
You shall see the face of God and live
Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come, follow me and I will give you rest
If you pass through raging waters in the sea
You shall not drown
If you walk amid the burning flames
You shall not be harmed
If you stand before the power of hell
And death is at your side
Know that I am with you through it all
Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come, follow me and I will give you rest
And blessed are your poor
For the kingdom shall be theirs
Blest are you that weep and mourn
For one day you shall laugh
And if wicked men insult and hate you
All because of me
Blessed, blessed are you
Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come, follow me and I will give you rest.
Amen
