THE STAGE IS SET FOR PURIM

03■09 to 3■10 are the dates for Purim in ■2020■.

• 2 - The number 3 biblically represents divine wholeness, completeness and perfection.
• 9 - is associated with truth. The Biblical numerology of number 9 is the finality or the judgement. It is generally when at the time of judging a person and his works. Also, number 9 is used to define the perfect movement of God. The biblical number 9 is [also] a number of patience.
• 10 (Yod) - The Word for the Number Ten in Hebrew. ... The Hebrew character or letter that equals ten is a Yud and looks like this: י, it is the smallest Hebrew letter. The symbolical meaning of the Yud is God's Hand, meaning how God's Hand works or interacts in our lives.
• 2 and 20 are also very significant!.

The meaning and power of 10.

Purim is coming up. This is the festival Jews celebrate jubilantly the DESTRUCTION of Haman. We blot out his family name together as we are commanded to retell the Book of Esther!

Haman had hatred in his heart for the Jews. And he nurtured his grudge into a plot to destroy them. But with her brother Mordechai, the good Queen Ester revealed the truth and Haman's plot to King Achashverosh of Persia. (~300 b.c.) The King allowed the Jews to arm themselves and they defeated their enemies.

Today's conspirators acted like Haman. They took hate into their heart and nurtured their grudge over Trump winning the election.

But God will not allow a Nation founded upon his values and in trust to him, one that blesses and protects the Nation of Israel, to be overthrown by evil doers.

The cunning evil forces tried also to break America's support for Israel to weaken our Nation and remove our blessing. But they were rebuked!

Since Trump was elected and glorified God by declaring Jerusalem Israel's eternal Capital, God has been playing with the haters egos and it is hardening their hearts. America is winning more than it has in 50 years. Trump has had success after success.

The haters' hearts are as hardened as they can be. Each truly believes . . .

• Hillary thinks she won.
• Pelosi thinks Trump was not acquitted.
• Biden thinks he is off the hook.
• Sanders think he's the right leader for America.
• Schiff and Nadler still think Trump colluded with Russia.
• Romney thinks he is righteous. 

The stage is set for the Book of Esther.  In the days of Haman, descendant of Agag, the king of the Amalekites, his plans were spoiled and his days were numbered.

Haman and his family of conspiring traitors were brought to justice.

As King Saul and David destroyed the Amelekites, The General of Justice in America will use the fiery sword of justice to cut through the Deep State. Like Haman and his sons, Brennan, Clapper, Comey and many others will be lead to the gallows.

Since 01■01■2020 the tables have turned on the conspirators!

Once their crimes are exposed Americans can rejoice and celebrate, for a time. But the time will be brief. The 2020 election will come. And Trump will win mightily!

Coming events will ensure that Trump wins 4 more years. 

The haters didn't accept the last election. Their hardened hearts believed that Haman's plot would succeed. They took comfort in their belief that Trump would be removed before his term was over, in effect validating their vote and their ego.

When Trump wins the 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION  and the haters must face the reality of 4 more years with Trump, their hate will rise to a higher level - RAGE. They will take their pitched anger and aggression out on God's believers, the faithful and supporters of this great Nation.

People in a state of rage don't think rationally. They are truly dangerous. Chaos and violence will ensure. Bernie Bro's and Antifa fascists will go literally crazy.  The country will have to use police force on it's people. 

4 is the door.

The number 4 is meaningful.  4 opens the door to the Rise of Rage. The haters hearts will explode at the thought of 4 more years. (Follow my link for an explanation on that.)

The door will release the rage but through the door will come the Lord. Who will be the Judah?  We shall all behold in due time. Be patient and stay calm.

1. 

For believers in Yeshua, it is interesting to know that Dalet, 4, has special meaning too.

DESTRUCTION and REBIRTH
🙏STAY CALM🙏

IF YOU PLAY IN THE DIRT YOU ARE GONNA GET DIRTY

"I [God] form the light and create darkness, I make peace and I create evil, I am the LORD who does all of these" (Isaiah 45:7) 

If a child or any animal plays in the dirt they are going to get dirty. They are going to need to wash off.  But that's OK.

Dry dirt you may just dust off.  Mud is more difficult, it needs to be washed off.

Some dirt is more difficult to remove than other. There is dirt that is downright toxic and requires that we wear protection, like gloves or a face mask.  There is dirt that is so hazardous that it requires a Haz-Mat suite, for example when cleaning mold.

In life there is Good and Evil. Evil is like dirt. It is all around us. We can't entirely avoid it. It will get on us. We can try to keep it away - to protect ourselves. We have to regularly wash it off us - like we wash our hands.

Office Mezzuzah 

We can take steps to protect ourselves and our home from dirt and evil. Such as Jews do with a Mezzuzah (see footnote) that we put on our door posts and entrance gate.

Evil is constantly lerking around to get us. Evil has its eye on us, perpetually looking for a way in, a portal opening into our life and a chance to rob our soul.

Hamsa in window

Since ancient times human beings have sensed the dynamic with good and evil. The hamsa is a prehistoric symbol and an example of humankind's instinctual sence of the evil eye watching us.

The hamsa also represents our desire to guard our surroundings from evil. Like a Mezzuzah, many Jews and gentiles hang the hamsa around their homes and wear them as jewelry.

Staying mindful of God is a great way we protect ourselves of Evil. Wearing a Kippah is a way to stay mindful. Saying prayers daily is another.

I believe that making time for Shabbat, lighting the Shabbas candles in our home, is a tremendous way to clean our home of evil. When we recieve the Sabbath Queen into our home we are inviting the Spirit (God) into our home. The Spirit is going to clean our home by driving out evil. In a sense it is analogous to having a super maid coming in that cleans our entire home.

We must be careful where we go and what we bring into our lives. There are some places and some topics that are dirtier than others. For example, a strip club is about as dirty a place a man can go. If a man walks in he will lust after women. If he is married he has a major clean up job to do!

Pornograhy is a similar evil problem.  The Internet makes it so easy to get dirty.

Politics is a very dirty subject. There are lots of nasty people in that field. Some have a good heart and they go into politics in an attempt to clean things up. If those folks don't have heavy "protection" they are going to get dirty - they will get infected. They must wash the evil off. If they stay in politics too long it is practically impossible for them to stay clean. That's one reason for term limits.

And when it comes to politics I am talking about ALL politics, regardless of Party!  Politics by its nature divides us - it separates us. That's what evil does - it pits us against one another. Politics will pit two good people against one another. That's how evil wins!  Evil doesn't care if you are a Democrat or a Republican.

Evil wins by increasing your emotions EITHER WAY!  Evil thrives on disagreement. People seem to be losing the ability to disagree in constructive ways. I think that is the work of Evil.

Some people can't deal with people on the other political side. But the key point I want to make is it doesn't matter what side either way!  Even if one is in a room with ONLY people on their same political side, they are still in the dirt. Evil surrounds them.  Some of us simply can't handle it and are best to stay out of the room altogether.

The news media and Hollywood are continuously dragging us INTO the dirt! 

Furthermore, if any of us thinks we have the knowledge to judge good and evil, think again.

Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed.
Robert Schuller

In Judaism we speak if the yetzer hara (יֵצֶר הַרַע), the inclination to do evil. But that phrase is drawn from the phrase "the imagination of the the heart of man is evil." (See Genesis 6:5, 8:21).

In closing, for me, I obviously speak about politics. I do things to protect myself. And I take time wash off.  But I have no false illusion.  I am in the dirt!  Please pray for me. 🙏💗

For every deed God will bring to judgment-for every hidden thing, whether good or bad. Ecclesiastes 12:14

Mezzuzah on front door post

Footnote:

And you shall inscribe them on the doorposts ("mezuzot") of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be prolonged upon the land which the L-rd swore to give to your fathers for as long as the heavens are above the earth (Deuteronomy 11:20-21).

According to the Tosafot and the Shulchan Aruch, the main function of the mezuzah is to protect the house from evil. Because of this attribute, the mezuzah has been called "the coat of arms in the knighthood of G‑d." To begin to understand the mechanism of this effect of the mezuzah, we must first delve into the concept of evil itself.

Perspective Changes the Conclusion

If two people look at apparently the same situation and come away with completely different assessments and conclusions, what are we to make of it?

There are multiple facets to this question that must be considered in order to make anything of it:

1. Are they looking at the "same situation" based on the same details? The same situation may be skewed by the presentation.  The information they are each basing their "make" may be different and/or biased.  If this is the case then they aren't looking at the same situation.

2. Do they look at the same situation with preconceived opinions? In other words, their make of the situation is skewed even before the situation came to their attention.

3. Are there extenuating circumstances that directly bear on the situation and if so are both parties giving comparable and reasonable weight to them?

4. Do the parties have a position in relation to some broarder matter that is related to the sitation?  In other words, are the ego's of the parties invested in an agenda that has any bearing on how they see the situation.

5. Have both parties dedicated the same amount of time to researching and trying to understand the situation and the background?

6. Do the parties have different values and philosophies that they will filter their assessment of the situation through?

7. Are there external forces, such as the media, politians or even friends trying to influence the conclusions of the parties?

In today's polar political atmosphere, it is no wonder two parties can look at the so called "same situation" and draw very different conclusions!

Assuming multiple facets are in play, then how do we settle the question of which party is correct?  That is the $64,000 question.  I am not so sure we can reconcile our differences.

Which leads me my own conclusion. 
What's important is not what we make of many situations, but rather how we debate it.

I wrote another blog post which I believe is relevant to the dilemma America has today and what may be the only way to fix the problem.

It is easy to disagree.  It takes effort to try to understand.

AN HISTORIC IMAGE

DECADES AGO I WALKED AWAY FROM THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.

Earlier in my life I considered myself a Liberal Progressive.  After much listening, reading and thinking I grew into a Libertarian Conservative.

Before my perspective and opinions changed, I believed what Democrat politicians, Liberal Progressive leaders and the mainstream media said about so many things.  I believed Russ Limbaugh and just about every Conservative was a racist.  I believed the Democratic Party represented good values and the Republican party was for the rich.

Now I think for myself. Now I know better.  Now I pray much more. And now the contrasts are greater and more obvious than ever. And I have now noticed something extremely frightening.

I see how brainwashed people are. I've seen how powerful propaganda is!

As a Jew, I used to find it so hard to imagine that Nazi propaganda achieved what it did. I was found it hard to accept that propaganda was capable of persuading so many in Germany, even if they were anti-Semitic to begin with, into allowing Hitler to do what the Nazi's did to their own fellow country people, neighbors and even friends.  NOW I GET IT!

Now I appreciate what propoganda can do, that it exists in our Republic and it is tearing down the Foundation our Nation was built upon.

When I see how people still believe what Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Maxine Waters and so many others are doing is OK, I get it.

I see how mainstream media is 95% negative about Donald Trump and Republicans and how powerful propaganda is. I see how good and intelligent people can be convinced.

I AM NOT ALONE!!

Millions and millions more are seeing what I see. That is the biggest reason the impeachment hoax and what has been happening to Donald Trump since he came down the escalator is backfiring.

Tens of millions of people, not just in America either, are awakening to how they were deceived by propaganda by the Left.

The public knows the House Democrats called 17 witnesses and Republicans weren't allowed to call one. The Public knows the House wouldn't allow the President to be represented. And the public doesn't believe the "whistleblower" without hearing and seeing him under oath!!

The TRUTH is being exposed. The truth is finally coming out about corruption and what the Left and the Deep State which INCLUDES REPUBLICANS, have been doing for a long long time!

People recognize now the news is more propoganda driven by a Partisan agenda. And the people are coming to appreciate two things that the Left realized decades before the Right and which Democrats are way ahead of Republicans:

1. "Culture is Upstream of Politics" Andrew Breitbart - If you can control popular culture (Hollywood, TV, etc.) you can control minds and that let's you control the message.

2. "Freedom is Never More than One Generation Away from Extinction" Ronald Reagan - If academics (college professors) are championing Partisan political opinions they can indoctrinate the next generation.


Since 01■01■2020 Truth has been on the march.

The image of Pelosi tearing up the SOTU speech has already destroyed Nancy Pelosi's future. It will tarnish her for the balance of her life. That IMAGE WILL BE HER LEGACY!

And Pelosi knows it and it is driving her insane.

Throughout this year we are going to see many bold contrasts. None will be better, stronger or more visually obvious than the image that the world saw of Trump delivering the SOTU while Pence stood to applaud and Nancy Pelosi stood to tear up his tremendous message to America.

That image is much more than an ordinary photograph. I believe that as years go by this image will mark an historic turning point in America. It will come to represent the point when the transformation of America began.

Over the months and five years ahead with Trump as President, many more lies to be exposed.
There will be many more truths and contrasts to come.

As the truth is exposed tens of millions in America will recognize the propoganda they were deceived by. Propaganda from all sides.

Americans are awakening to the corruption of our government at large. They are realizing that there is a Deep State in Washington D.C. which is protecting the ESTABLISHMENT.  That involves Democrats and Republicans! Whether the outsider who threatens their egos, money and power is Abraham Lincoln, John Kennedy or Donald Trump it doesn't matter!

Like Moses did, George Washington's is speaking to us from the past through his Farewell Letter.

Millions of Americans are finally recognizing that our media has long been used by the Washington establishment to manipulate the citizenry for money and power reasons.

There are some very powerful and corrupt individuals inside CIA, the Deep State and political parties who will lead us into wars, destroyed lives and even assainated their enemies who threaten to expose them.

Destruction is ahead for the evil forces in our country. It will not come with physical force. It it will come from exposing the truth from the darkness to the light.

"THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE."
Jesus in John 8:22.

The TRUTH about our Government will come from the President doing just what he has been doing, DECLASSIFYING classified information!  It will come from FREEFORM OF INFORMATION filings by organizations such as Judicial Watch.

The truth will come from legal battles like the lawsuit of 16 year old Nic Sandman against CNN and Tulsi Gabbards lawsuit against Hillary Clinton. It will come from the long overdue criminal investigation that is underway by US Attorney Durham and AG Barr.

The truth will also come as a result of the hundreds of conservative judges which are being confirmed and who will strictly interpret the Constitution rather than legislating from the bench.

The truth will trample over the lies and cause much destruction in the process. The truth will cause the rise of rage.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:The truth is march on.
GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH!

Can an image set us free?  An image is light. Light is truth.

Ultimately, there will be a REBIRTH in America.  The best is yet to come!

🙏STAY CALM🙏

IT IS HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LINCOLN AND TRUMP

As far fetched as it may seem, there are multiple parallels between President's Lincoln and Trump.

The first created the Republican party. The later sought to restore it and expose the "Republicans in name only," so called "RINO's."

They both stood tall at over 6'3" with a very distinguishable appearance that their critics enjoyed mocking and making cartoon caricatures of.

They were both where considered interlopers by the Washington elite.

Pundits of each predicted before their start that their Presidency would be a ruiness failure. Of Lincoln a major Memphis newspaper published this statement:

“Within 90 days from the time Lincoln is inaugurated, the Republican Party will be utterly ruined and destroyed. His path is environed with so many difficulties, that even if he had the ability of Jefferson and the energy of Jackson, he would fail, but he is a weak and inexperienced man, and his administration will be doomed from the commencement.

They were both despised by D.C. insiders and posed a threat to the "Establishment."

They both had to endure endless, ruthless public and personal attacks. They both endured relentless hostility in the media.

They both never shied from going out in public despite considerable risks and challenges to ensuring their physical safety.

They both were famous for their oratory talents and possessed a charisma that commanded attention. They were both known for their sense of humor.

One is credited for making the Republican Party great and the other is credited with uniting the Republican party the most in history.

There is a credible theory that the House would have impeached President Lincoln had he not been assassinated first.

They both became forever associated with a great split in our nation.

They both had to deal with States violating Federal requirements concerning legalities over citizenship.

They both made a huge difference in the prosperity of Black lives.

They both believed that legal citizenship mattered and was worth fighting for.

They were both loathed and hated so deeply that fantasies of their assassination were not unusual.

They both had extremely close Orthodox Jewish supporters. They both made frequent strong references to their Faith in the Almighty.

Here is what was said about Abraham Lincoln:

• The contempt for this President upon his arrival in Washington DC was so widespread, so vicious and so personal that it marked an historic low point of USA presidential prestige. 
• On arrival to Washington his support in the nation is estimated at about 25 percent — roughly equivalent to the lowest approval ratings recorded by modern-day polling.
• He is no more capable of becoming a statesman than a braying ass has of becoming a noble lion. 
• Americans projected onto him everything they saw wrong with the country.
• Critics in Eastern cities said he was inadequate to the needs of the democracy. Hostile masses elsewhere said he represented a deadly threat to the republic. 
• His imbecile mind and disgusting manner have made the USA the laughing stock of the whole world. 
• This man is more of an unconstitutional tyrant and a repulsive dictator.
• The European powers will despise that this President was the best that Americans could do.
• The press suggested that the president deserved the deepest disgrace that the crushing indignation of people can inflict. 
• Critics said we soon would have a self-proclaimed dictator who would carry out his plans by "iron rule of the worst kind of despotism."
• To millions this resident was a standard bearer for a vast corrupt political system.
• One major NY Newspaper joked darkly that the President "may live a hundred years without having so good a chance to die."
• Democrats savored the spectacle of the President's demise. Democrats announced "he will never be President again."
• The elite were fed up with his "little jokes" [tweets]. They called him an obscene ape and vowed to depose him from Washington and the White House.  

Those remarks are virtually quotes from major publications and politicians at the time describing Abraham Lincoln during his Presidency.

It is hard to tell the difference between what the mainstream press and Democrats said about Lincoln in his day from what they say about President Trump today.

I am by no means the first to draw a comparison of Trump to Lincoln. Other's have and I'm certain more will.  Here is one example. 

It remains to be seen how history will judge Trump. But there is an increasing sense by Republicans that they are on the right side.

[LINCOLN AND THE JEWS]

PREPARING TO REST

Poet's Walk Park

Life is filled with opposites and everything in between.  We go with the flow and try to live in the moment.

A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

God designed us to get ready for the times in our life. Part of life is preparing for life itself.  Spring planting prepares us for Summer growing. The fall harvest is to last us through the winter.

God gave us time itself. We need time to prepare the future, from our birth to the hereafter and everything in between.

Genesis 1:14 Let there be luminaries in the expanse of the heavens, to separate between the day and between the night, and they shall be for signs and for appointed seasons and for days and years.

To make the most of the time we are given, God gave us the sun to measure the day and the moon to track the months. The ability to measure time helps us to organize and order our life.

Every day is like a minature life. Every week has a beginning and an end. God gave us festivals and holidays to mark the months the even the years, such Tu Bishvat which begins this Sunday evening.

 “man is a tree of the field” (Deuteronomy 20:19)

We are made in the image of The Creator. We create. So too do we rest. 

As we live our life, we fill it.  Our soul is the vessel our life is collected in. The body holds the soul for the time we have, until the body's time is up and the soul moves on.

In life, when we pour out our soul, we are sharing the deepest and richest essense of who we are. And when we put our soul into something we are investing the deepest and richest essense of ourselves.

One of the amazing things about how God designed us is that when we put our soul into something the vessel is filled, rather than emptied. Love multiplies.

GOD GAVE US REST AND COMMANDED US TO OBSERVE IT. 

God gave us rest to observe time.  Observance is the act of letting go of creation. It is a time to see and appreciate life and all God's gifts. Rest isn't simply the absence of work. It is much much more.

There is meaning in deliberate and conscious rest. Rest makes life richer.  Our work is more fruitful because of our rest.

God gave us the morning to prepare for the evening. The busier our day, the greater our relaxation.

Rest is so precious that God gave us time to prepare for it. God created six days to prepare for one day of rest.

The greater our preparation the richer is the reward.  Such is the Sabbath. Such is life.

I heard that at night a tiny bit of our soul leaves our body to be restored. And in the morning, as we awaken and our nostrils take a breathe, we are restored.  That is when we are best to say a morning prayer.

The Hebrew morning prayer is called the Modeh Ani.  Here is that prayer Texas Style. (I think is a great song to use to teach a child about how precious each day is so they will make the most of it.)

Modeh Ani Lefanecha

Melech Chai Vekayom

Shehechezarta Bi Nishmati

Bechemla

Raba Emunatecha

I offer thanks to You,

living and eternal King,

for You have mercifully restored my soul within me;

Your faithfulness is great.

Each day we fill the vessel.  On the Sabbath we get to appreciate life and get a taste of what is to come.

Before Shabbat we have a mystical prelude to Shabbat, Kabbalat Shabbat. Time to prepare for rest. Time to prepare to recieve the Shabbath - to enter Shabbat.

God gave us time to prepare for life. God gave us the Sabbath rest to prepare for time.

For whoever enters Gods rest
Also rests from his own work,
Just as God rested from his own.
Hebrew 9

We OBSERVE the Sabbath to observ rest, to observe time.  TO HAVE PEACE

Shabbat Shalom.

L'Chaim 

P.S. This blog post was inspired by this week's Shabbas email message from Rabbi Yacov & Hindy Borenstein.

My Kippah Is Not a Problem

On the morning of February 4th I boarded a train from Poughkeepsie on my way into NYC for both business and personal meetings. 

l felt the entire day was going to be special. I decided to take my Kippah with me. That's not uncommon for me to do. 

Like most Jews raised in a Reform temple, I put on a yarmulke during Holy days services, Festivals and Shabbat in Synagogue. We step out, it comes off.

I also like to put on my kippah when I am in strange places, like a foreign city or when the occasion moves me.  When I feel like having God and Judaism on my mind I put my kippah on my head. 

I'll digress for anyone who is unfamiliar with a kippah. It is Hebrew word that literally means skullcap, also referred to in Yiddish as a yarmulke. 

The Jewish tradition of wearing a kippah is not derived from any particular biblical commandment. Rather, covering one's head began as sign of respect and reverence for God. A simple article of clothing, it is also a recognition that there is Someone “above” us who watches our every act.

There is central Jewish prayer called the V'Ahavta. It is the prayer inside teffiln which some Jews wrap on their forehead, arm and hand. It is inside a mezzuzah on the doorposts and gates to Jewish homes and offices. In the V'Ahavta we pray to "Be mindful" of the Torah as a means of consecrating ourselves to God. 

Two Jews, one raised in a non-religious Reform house and temple and the other being Orthodox, get on a train separately . . .  Do they sit down together?  If they do, what do say?  

I boarded the train for my trip to NYC and sat down. I remembered the kippah that I had shoved in my coat pocket on the way out and put it on.

At that moment a young Orthodox Jewish man, judging from his appearance, was walking by me in the isle. He greeted me "Shalom aleichem" and I responded "Aleichem shalom."  I offered him the seat next to me.  He offered me the seat next to him on the next car up. I went and sat. We started talking. We stopped at my stop - 125th/Harlem.

It was most serendipitous for me because I had questions and thoughts about the Torah portions from both the previous and current weeks. (Parshat Beselach and Bo in the Book of Schmot, commonly known as EXODUS.)

I soon learned that this man was the Rabbi for a Chabad House at a very prominent college. He asked me about my connection to Judaism.

I said I was raised at Vassar Temple, Poughkeepsie's Reform synagogue.  He responded with an assumption,  "so you are secular."  From the intonation of his voice I sensed he was making a statement rather than asking a question. 

Someone might have taken insult to his remark. But I didn't.  For me it was just another lead into the conversation I felt we were destined to have. I was already convinced that Hashem had a reason for us to find ourselves together. 

Our conversation covered nice ground. The trip flew by.  We even said a healing prayer together for a mutual friend we discovered we had. As anyone who knows Chabad, the rabbi was all too happy when I asked him to put teffiln on me. I think he was surprised when I knew the V'Ahavta.

Before I knew it, my stop was not far. And I felt close enough from our conversation to ask him a very personal question that I've been waiting to ask the right Chasidic man, who so happened to be seated beside me on this particular train, because of my kippah.

I asked the young rabbi, Have you ever experienced people judging you for becoming "too religious?" Has this ever been a problem for you personally?

His head rolled back and his eyes opened wide and a smile came on his face. The young bearded man in a dark suit, and a white shirt over a tallis, said without much hesitation,  YES. He had a personal story to share. 

He told that me grew up in a liberal Jewish household. When he was a just a young boy, his mother wanted him to know, "If you ever realized that you were gay I will accept you. It is OK." Many years later his mother expressed much anxiety over how religious her son had become. One day, he addressed it with her. He said to his mother, "You told me you would accept me being gay. But you have a problem with my faith in God?"

Our conversation continued until it got cut-off when the doors opened at 125th street, Harlem station. I scrambled to gather my papers and coat and raced off. The doors closed and off went the Rabbi. And so did my cell phone, which I left on the seat!

Thinking quickly I went into the Station and explained to a ticket teller that I just left my phone on the train and asked if she could contact the conductor on the train to grab it. She couldn't, but she took out her personal cell and asked me my phone number. She called my cell phone. Rabbi answered.

My cell phone problem was easily solved. I just needed to go to home and the next day I could pay the ransom to get my phone back. Off I went to have my meetings.  Without my cell. Lacking a cell was karma, per my wife.  

I had two wonderful meetings in NY and a special day over all. After, I took the subway uptown to Harlem to catch an evening train back to Poughkeepsie.  

It was dark out when I got off the subway in Harlem. The streets were dirty. As I walked to the train station I was aware that I was a stranger.  I was also aware of my Kippah. I didn't feel alone. 

I've had God on my mind increasingly these last 10 years or so. The desire to wear my kippah is more common for me in my life today than when I grew up.

That was why I asked the Rabbi on the train about his personal experience. On my train ride home I wondered to myself why didn't I wear my kippah every day? 

I realized it was because people might look at me strange and judge me. Most of all I was concerned what my family might think. 

I am happy. I try every day to be a kind and loving person. The discomfort I feel is the internalized opinions of other people. The shame I feel is not about my relationship with God or the desire to wear a kippah. It is the shame loved ones feel about me. 

Rabbi Menachem Posner said that, "Ultimately, the hope is that wearing the kippah will serve as encouragement and a gentle reminder to progress."

I made a decision on my ride home from NYC. When I called the Rabbi the following morning to make arrangements to retrieve my phone I told him about it.

I am wearing my kippah every day. It is not my problem. It needn't be anyone else's either.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26.3