Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Remembering Rose (8/7/15)

“In Loving Memory Of”

By Taylor Longenberger
Acrylic on Watercolor Paper
Florence, Italy 2015
Final piece for painting class at the Santa Reparata International School of Art in Florence, Italy to represent the psychological and emotional connections that are present through life and death. 

Below is the D'var Torah I Gave 8/7/15 during a lay-led Summer service at Vassar Temple.  I brought in a pencil drawing of a rose by a good friend and dance student of my wife's, Taylor, to display.  

Eikev  - Parashah (portion) - Deuteronomy 7:12 - 11:25

Tonight's flower is in honor of my Grandmother Rose.  I never met Rose, she died when my father was 18.   But I am named after her -- Rose, Robert.  If you've ever thought things happen for a reason, then you can appreciate my curiosity about my grandma Rose. (My Hebrew middle name Jonah is after my maternal great Grandfather Joseph.)

Jewish Sages say that naming a baby is a statement of their future character, and their specialness, and their path.  "For at the beginning of life we give a name, and at the end of life a "good name" is all we take with us." (Talmud - Brachot 7b - Sha'ar HaGilgulim 24b)  According to Talmud, parents receive one-sixtieth of prophecy when picking a name.  "An angel comes to the parents and whispers the Jewish name that the baby will embody." (Source Aish.com)

Rose is not my name, but there's still meaning to be found in my connection to it.  When wise King Solomon wrote the Shir Hashirim, the Song of Songs, about God's eternal love of the Jewish people, he likened them to a "rose among thorns." And with this analogy King Solomon provided great insights worth contemplating on how the Jewish people have been able to survive long and bitter exile among the nations of the world. What is in a rose?

It is a fundamental principle of the Kabbala that all the things G‑d creates in the lower realm, our physical existence, are expressions of their spiritual elements in the upper realms. Therefore, we may view parts of the physical world as a parable for different aspects of divinity.  So it must it be with a rose.

Rabbi Joe Rooks Rapport of Adath Israel Brith Shalom in Louisville KY, tells us that "To understand our world, we must find our place within it. To understand our lives, we must see them as part of a greater whole. To understand our relationship with God, we must understand, somewhat, the nature of God's holiness and how to bring holiness into our own lives as well."  "While the ancient texts ... may obscure these basic truths from our modern eyes, still in all, there are lessons buried beneath them that can speak to us as well."

Perhaps a lesson about our survival can be drawn from tonight's Torah portion.  Let's see ... for Rose.

Our parashah tonight is from The Book of Deuteronomy, known in Hebrew as Devarim, the fifth book of the Old Testament; and it contains a second statement of Mosaic law.  It is Israel's ancient constitution, and one of the oldest constitutions in our possession, dating back to the around the 14th century BCE.

Our portion this week covers verses 7:12 - 11:25.  We read that in exchange for our lifelong, multi-generational devotion to God, we are given promises.  So, in a sense, as the Jewish people are about to cross over the River Jordan and enter the promised land, Moses is reminding us our Covenant with God.  The deal we made.  Lest any feelings of buyer's remorse be on the people's minds.

The thing is, while the benefits of this deal were highly relevant to the Jewish people thousands of years ago, we inherited or accepted the same obligations in exchange for the same promises.  So what's in it for us today?

Zig Ziglar, a popular motivational and business development speaker, writer, and coach, who inspired millions into his 80s said everyone listens to the same radio station. Wii FM, which stands for "what's in it for me."  My Dvar this evening is a perfect example of a terrific sales proposition, for thousands of years ago.  Looking at it today, the relevance is obscure at best.

The challenge facing Judaism and Vassar Temple, depends on our ability to answer this question in a relevant way today.  Christians get eternal life. It isn't possible to say how that's working out. However, sometimes I do think that Christians have a better marketing and sales strategy.  Or at least less likelihood of claims against the guarantee. Let's not even mention the promises to certain martyrs.

Jews on the other hand get a better life on earth.  Provided we help build it.  We get what we give.  So what do we get according to Deuteronomy?  Babies, lots of babies. Not only will we multiply, but so will our herds and crops.  No worries about sterility. No disease or sickness either.  We'll be able to ward off and destroy all our enemies, so we need not fear them.  Wait, there's more. Clothes that don't wear out.  A land with plenty of water, wheat, barley, figs, pomegranates, olives and honey.  Yes, life sounded very good, if you were hearing Moses describe it to you.

And if any of us had any doubts.  Just look at what God did for us in Egypt.  Come on now, what more testimony do we need than that?

But even if Moses stood hear today, as a stranger in the land, making the same promises he did thousands of years ago in the desert.  Would people buy it?  Would Moses change his message?   What would Moses promise today?  Better organic produce, name brands for less, a 3% fixed rate mortgage, better wifi?   I suppose if you're trying to have a baby, Moses is still sounding pretty good to you.

Isn't it ironic, that at time when we need a better world, God's message is harder to receive.  Because it takes so much effort to make it relevant.  And even then, a great leap of faith.  And yet, the key to our success, is to find ways to do just that.  To make deal relevant.  To make it meaningful.  As a temple, we have to help transcend time.  Not just to go back in time and history to understand our Jewish identity.  But to find a 21st century meaning in a 14th century BCE text.

I contend we don't need any new promises or a new deal. .All we truly need is still there.  If we look for it.  And the sages, and Rabbi's and even your friends from Vassar Temple will help you to find it.  So will your personal meditations.

You see, in my opinion an atheist isn't someone who doesn't believe in God.  An atheists is someone who hasn't found the meaning of God.

Where do you find the meaning of God?  Where?  You find God, in a Rose.

Or maybe, at the Western Wall.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Call Me By My Other Name

This year, 5777, a year with three sevens, on Taschlich (the time during the High Holy Days when Jews traditional "Cast off their sins) is different for me and I will be different because of it.  As we who perform the ancient tradition, inspired by a passage from Micah, cast off our sins to the depths, I took a dramatic action. A life milestone. I started using my middle name.

My full name is Robert Jonah Ritter. Folks who know me the longest call me Bobby. But, I've always liked my Hebrew middle name, Jonah, better. And for many years I have wanted to switch.  Since "I ain't getting any younger," it is time. So this coming High Holy Days, during Tashlich, when we cast off, I will symbolically cast off the use of "Robert." Then on Erev Yom Kippur I and the start of the Jewish New Year 5777, I will elevate my Hebrew name to daily use.  So the next time I give my name, or I'm asked, "Do you like to be called Bob or Robert?"  My answer will be, please call me Jonah.

Going public with a name change at age 57, is a very odd thing to do. Easily open to misinterpretation.  I can imagine people's thoughts: "What's he trying to hide? He is having an identity crisis." "He's nuts."  All understandable assumptions, but the truth is not that simple.  So I decided I would offer an explanation with my announcement.

Jonah has special meaning for me. Jonah was a prophet during Jeroboam II, the King of Israel in the 8th century BCE. Jonah had other prophecies, but one most everyone is aware of is the story of "Jonah and the Big Fish." I have thought about it more than most.

My middle name Jonah in Hebrew, Yonah (יונה), means “dove.” It is the name of a biblical prophet whose biblical story is read every year on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The book of Jonah tells about the prophet’s refusal to fulfill G‑d’s mission to call on the people of Ninveh to repent. After a long and frightening ordeal, Jonah regretted having defied G‑d’s wish, and went to tell the city to repent. There are twists all the way through the story, each with lessons for us.

One of my interpretations of the Story of Jonah can be found in a midrash I wrote about it. It also ties to my reasons for choosing Tashlich for my actions.  Here is a link to that.  

For as long as I can remember, on every Yom Kippur, I would stay at temple all day, and in between the morning and afternoon services, I would spend part of that time thinking about the message of the biblical story of Jonah and praying for the wisdom to know the right choices, as well as the courage and conviction to make the best decisions.  Jonah inspires me to say "Heneni" (hear I am), a scriptural reference to accepting a call to serve G-d. Maybe one day I can play a song for you that I wrote which is named, "I Need Conviction."

There are many interpretations of the story of Jonah, and much meaning to be found in it.  One example comes from The Zohar. (Zohar in Hebrew: זֹהַר, lit. "Splendor" or "Radiance.") The Zohar is the foundational work in the literature of Jewish mystical thought known as Kabbalah.  On the meaning of Jonah, Rabbi Sharia Taub wrote:

"I know what you’re thinking. This has got to be a metaphor, because I have never boarded a seafaring vessel bound for Tarshish to escape prophecy, gotten caught in a storm, had the crew throw me overboard, and been swallowed by a fish.

You’re right. Those things haven’t happened to you. And they probably won’t happen to (any) of us. But, still, the Zohar says that this is the real story of your life.

You are Jonah. The real you, for “Jonah”—in Kabbalistic parlance—is another name for the soul. Hence, the story of Jonah is the story of a soul’s journey here on earth. Thus, on Yom Kippur, as we examine our lives and consider our purpose in this world, we remember the historical Jonah whose real-life narrative symbolizes our spiritual odyssey."

For me personally, choosing to use my middle name Jonah is my way of creating a daily reminder that my soul is on a journey, that life is a journey, and to make it purposeful rather than materialistic.  Jonah teaches me to listen to the "wiser voice" in me. Jonah teaches me not to postpone or avoid what I should do.  And Jonah's story showed me the depth of meaning that can be found in our journey.

My middle name Jonah is a blessing, and it is time to elevate it over my first name, Robert. Thank you all for enduldging me by honoring my somewhat awkward request:  Please call me by my middle name, Jonah.

Kindly,

R. Jonah Ritter

P.S. Because my legal name includes Jonah, I will not be doing a legal name change. Jonah IS already my name.  It is more of change in preference - R. Jonah instead of Robert J. Ritter.  So I will introduce myself to new people as Jonah, but I will still answer to Bob, Bobby, and Robert. And of course, Son and Dad, and occasionally, a slew of insults.
P.P.S.   More from Rabbi Taub:

Your story begins at birth. A soul from on high is plunged into an earthly body. Before its descent, the soul lived an angel-like existence, basking in a glow of spirituality, intimately bound to its Creator. But the soul must leave its home. It is confined to a material vessel, its senses overwhelmed by the brash stimuli of this world. “Jonah,” the soul, “boards the ship,” the body. And where does this ship take its passenger? “Away from the presence of G‑d.” Indeed, the very name of Jonah—closely related to a Hebrew word meaning “aggrieved”—alludes to the unique frustration of the soul confined to the body.

The soul, Jonah, the hapless passenger, has traveled far away from G‑d. Yet, where can one go and be far from the One? Where is it that the Omnipresent cannot be found? Has the soul—upon entering this coarse, physical realm—really left G‑d behind? Just as G‑d was with Jonah at the moment of his first prophecy in the Holy Land, so too was G‑d with Jonah as he languished on the high seas.

And yet, we, like Jonah, delude ourselves into thinking that our journey to this earth has somehow taken us “out of range” of our relationship with G‑d. Like Jonah, we take this perceived distance as an indication that we have somehow been dismissed from our mission. But no; the soul does not escape G‑d by coming down to this earth. To the contrary, it is an agent of G‑d, a representative of His will charged with imbuing sanctity into the mundane and perfecting an imperfect world.

Sooner or later, the false lure of material satisfaction comes to its inevitable conclusion, and the physical life to which the soul had resigned itself grows unruly and fierce. “The Almighty rouses a furious tempest.” Not to punish, heaven forbid, but to shake the soul from its complacency, for “Jonah had gone down to the inner part of the ship . . . and slept.” The soul is numb.

“So the captain came and said to him, ‘What do you mean, you sleeper? Arise, call upon your G‑d!’” A voice of conscience stirs from within. “What is your occupation?” What have you done with your life? Why are you here? Why were you sent?

The moment of truth. The soul must acquiesce. G‑d is here too, and I am none other than His very messenger. My life has a purpose. “I am a Hebrew, and I revere the G‑d of Israel!”"

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Part 4 - Midrash on the Story of Jonah: See My Sadness Lord

This Is the 4th part of my 5 part Midrash on the Story of Jonsh, each covering a different part of the story. In this part Iconcentrated on the part after God spares Nineveh and Jonah is feeling despair. 

Of the four midrash that I wrote about the Story of Jonah, this is the most poetic.  The message which comes through relates to a pattern that has repeated itself throughout time. One which challenges even the faithful at times. It is a dilemma that often leads people to turn away from religion and even admonish people who believe they have any relationship with God. It could be summed up in a question that it is one for the ages:  "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

See My Sadness Lord

A Midrash by R. Jonah Ritter

I sit outside the secure walls of Nineveh,
that were to be destroyed by the Lord.

Your servant proclaimed your judgement,
Instead, my enemies are restored.

Forsaken again, I feel,
All I have is a meager ghord.

This ghord is enough for me God,
Why must you strip that too Lord.

You are a mighty just God,
So let me plead to you ...

You ask me to care --
I ask you to care!

I anger you -- 
You anger me!

You tell me to proclaim your Judgement --
then proclaim your judgement!

You give your prophet visions --
Now the future is too painful to see.

You command me to do your will --
no matter what comes of mine!

You expect me to see your sadness Lord --
Will You not see my Mine?



Part 4 - Midrash on the Story of Jonah: See My Sadness Lord

Of the four midrash that I wrote about the Story of Jonah, this is the most poetic.  The message which comes through relates to a pattern that has repeated itself throughout time. One which challenges even the faithful at times. It is a dilemma that often leads people to turn away from religion and even admonish people who believe they have any relationship with God. It could be summed up in a question that it is one for the ages:  "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

See My Sadness Lord

A Midrash by R. Jonah Ritter

I sit outside the secure walls of Nineveh,
that were to be destroyed by the Lord.

Your servant proclaimed your judgement,
Instead, my enemies are restored.

Forsaken again, I feel,
All I have is a meager ghord.

This ghord is enough for me God,
Why must you strip that too Lord.

You are a mighty just God,
So let me plead to you ...

You ask me to care --
I ask you to care!

I anger you -- 
You anger me!

You tell me to proclaim your Judgement --
then proclaim your judgement!

You give your prophet visions --
Now the future is too painful to see.

You command me to do your will --
no matter what comes of Mine!

You expect me to see your sadness Lord --
Will You not see my Mine?

Part V.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Part 3 - Midrash on the Story of Jonah: Ninevah Is Saved and I Am Destroyed

Oh My God, they Listened.  

From the depths of the sea, as my life was ebbing away, you rescued your servant.  Cast off, feeling forsaken, You answered me.  You put the fate of Nineveh before my eyes.  "They who cling to empty folly forsake their own welfare."  My doubts drowned, but I was born with a clear purpose.  I must go to Nineveh - to declare your judgment.  Your prophet is your willing sacrifice and the messenger of your Deliverance. Nineveh, mine enemies, shall be overthrown! 

Like unto David, in my darkest moment, You LORD were my light and my salvation.  (Psalm 27 v4).  I shall not fear what awaits me in Niniveh. My adversaries and foes, "will stumble and fall."  As my reward my only wish is to "dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the graciousness of the LORD, and to visit early in [Your] temple. (Psalm 27 V4)

I go to Nineveh, knowing what awaits me.  Though "a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear" and "though war should rise up against me, even then will I be confident."  [Psalm 27 v3]

I entered the great and fearsome city of Nineveh and sounded Your trumpet.  Lord, behold, "my head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me." (Psalm 27 v6).  I declared Your judgement. 

Having done your will, I awaited my reward - the destruction of my people's enemy.  So future generations of the people who have made their covenant with you may enter Your Temple.  The Assyrian destruction is to be Your promise fulfilled. 

You "lifteth me up upon a rock." [Psalm 27 v5] and my conviction turned the hearts of my enemies and the "King cried mightily to God for everyone turn back from their evil ways and from the injustice of which he is guilty" and they "covered with sackcloth-man and beast." [Jonah 3:8]

"Who knows but that God may turn and relent?" [Jonah 3:8]  Seeing death, man "may turn back from Your wrath, so that he does not perish.” 

But, I did not travel to Nineveh to save my enemies. I was sent to proclaim your judgement, and prepared myself to be your sacrifice.  I emerged from the sea by your will, determined to save my people, Your Covenant people, by carrying Your word and Your plan to bring punishment upon the Assyrians. 

Truly my word possessed the powers of my conviction.  For by my word, the people turned their backs on their evil ways, and begged for forgiveness.  Surely you see, their falseness. Surely they will return to their god and their warring and lustful ways.  Surely they will take the lives of Your covenant people again.

As I willing approached death in Your seas, You plucked me from the sea and breathed your will into me.  Did I misunderstand?  Did I mislead myself?  

I did not fear death, in going to Nineveh. It was not your judgement I feared, rather your forgiveness.  "For I know that You are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in kindness, renouncing punishment." [Jonah 4.2]   “O LORD! Isn’t this just what I said when I was still in my own country?" [Jonah 4.2] That is why I fled beforehand to Tarshish. 

Judgement was not delived upon Nineveh.  I delivered the Assyrians for Your Forgiveness.  What have I done?  I have brought more death and destruction on my people.

I am deeply grieved. "Please, LORD, take my life, for I would rather die than live.”  [Jonah 4.2]  I wish to return to the death from whence I came. Back to the sea.  In serving you, I have betrayed my people.  I had the courage to face my enemies, but I do not have the courage to face my people, knowing it is on my account Your Temple is safe not.  

Link to Part IV

Sunday, October 30, 2016

One Love

Mary and I dressed up for a Halloween party at The Lantern out in Wassaic last night.  She went as a Nun, and I as an Ultra Orthodox Jew - the ultimate unlikely Interfaith couple.  A play on our true selves. A girl raised very Catholic who attended Catholic schools throughout her life married to the man who would be the Temple President.

I noticed that the reactions, chuckles, to our costumes were much greater when we stood together.  In other words, people found the humor and thought provoking aspect of a Nun & Chassid much more than either of us individually.

That got me thinking. And an irony came to mind. Why is the image of two highly faithful people who both believe in ONE G-d also sharing one love, so strange?  That is the unexpected humor found in Mary and my costumes.

This reminded me of our "bar names." Long before I decided to elevate my middle name Jonah to daily use, Mary and I would use our middle names, just for fun, when we were out by ourselves to a bar and found ourselves talking with others. We would introduce ourselves as Jonah & Theresa. We found it funny and it seemed to make us more intriguing, or so we thought. It seemed to lead to conversation. Who knows if it did! But we felt like we were playing little fantasy game and not being "Bob & Mary" seemed to kick it off.

Thinking about this now, there is a parallel. The same unexpected humor.  The same irony.  A concept that is universal and which raises a question for the ages.  Why don't we live together in peace.  An ideal captured perfectly by Bob Marley in his hit song, One Love.

Here are the lyrics:

One Love by Bob Marley (Catch a little trivia point at the end.)

One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One love)
Hear the children crying (One heart)
Sayin', "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Sayin', "Let's get together and feel all right
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (one love)
There is one question I'd really love to ask (one heart)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own?
Believe me

One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
As it was in the beginning (one love)
So shall it be in the end (one heart)
Alright, give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right
One more thing

Let's get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (one love)
So when the Man comes there will be no, no doom (one song)
Have pity on those whose chances grow thinner
There ain't no hiding place from the Father of Creation

Sayin', one love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
I'm pleading to mankind (one love)
Oh, Lord (one heart) whoa

Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right

Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right

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The "heritage” of Judaidm in Jamaica might be synonymous with Rastafarianism. In fact, Rastafarianism is inextricably intertwined with Judaism: the religion’s messiah, the Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie, claimed descendance from King Solomon and it shares symbols like the Lion of Judah and kosher laws. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Part 1 - Midrash on the Story of Jonah: My Side of the Story

Midrash on the Story of Jonah 
My Side of the Story
By R. Jonah Ritter

"Midrash is an interpretive act, seeking the answers to religious questions (both practical and theological) by plumbing the meaning of the words of the Torah. (In the Bible, the root d-r-sh is used to mean inquiring into any matter, including occasionally to seek out God’s word.) Midrash responds to contemporary problems and crafts new stories, making connections between new Jewish realities and the unchanging biblical text." MyJewishLearning..com 

Prologue: I have always felt their is another side to the story of Jonah, and that Jonah got a bad rap.  After all, he did spare the sailors lives, and eventually went to Niniveh to risk his life again and saved the great city with the power of his word.  People have been too quick to assume they have learned the necessary lessons and morals of the Story of Jonah, and in doing so, miss much greater opportunities for learning about themselves.  This can be said about most of works of literature and art, but it is especially true of scripture, and particularly the Story of Jonah, in my opinion.  Why is Jonah's Story so important?  Well, considering the fact that it is the Haftorah story associated with the holiest of Jewish days, Yom Kippur, I think the answer to that question speaks for itself.  For me, the answer is also because I was named Jonah, it is my Hebrew name. And, my son was born on Yom Kippur.  The Story of Jonah is deeply personal to me and profoundly meaningful. 

Faith is a belief which should not relieve us of an effort to search for G-d, nor the value of questioning. As a means for my own personal search for a deeper understanding, and a more personal relationship with G-d, I decided to explore the Story of Jonah via the excercise of writing midrash.  In doing so, I found I needed to break the story up into parts, in order to address different questions and ideas that I have regarding the story. So instead of one midrash, I have a seperate midrash for seperate sections of the story.  This first midrash took me, and Jonah, up to before arriving at Niniveh.

It was also a conscious choice to write in the first person, as though I were Jonah.  This gave me a greater sense and awareness of what it was like to be Jonah.  It also allowed me to speak for Jonah; to offer my side of the story. By writing in the first person, my midrash felt more to me like a personal conversation with G-d.  In addition, I took the liberty, and a literary right, to give Jonah some knowledge of scripture.

As a ground rule, I adhered to a premise by Maimonides that the voice of G-d came to prophets in visions and signs, during dreams, rather than a direct conscious voice.  I also tried to be mindful of the historical context, including the relations at the time the story took place between the Hebrews and the Assyrians who populated the great city of Niniveh.  It is notable that the two peoples were enemies and that the Assyrians had a reputation for being fierce warriors.  

Last but not least is that I fully expect to change this story.  This interpretation will evolve.  As I write later sections of my midrash, the meaning and understanding that I derive causes my to want to modify previous sections that I've written.  So what you read today may change tomorrow. 
-------------------------------

To Noah You said God, "The end of all flesh has come before Me, for the earth has become full of robbery because of them, and behold I am destroying them from the earth. (Genesis 6:13)  And now God, you say to me, Jonah, "proclaim judgment upon [Niniveh]; for their wickedness has come before [you]." (Jonah 1:2) 

Lord, If I proclaim your judgment upon the assyrians, mine enemies and rivals, what shall become of me?   To Noah, you gave assurances, "I will set up My covenant with you, and you shall come into the ark, you and your sons, and your wife and your sons' wives with you. " (Genesis 6:18)  

Moses exclaimed "Behold they will not believe me, and they will not heed my voice, but they will say, 'The Lord has not appeared to you.'" (Exodus 4:1)  And for Moses, who doubted his speech and its power, you showed signs as you told him to "Cast [his staff] to the ground," and it became a serpent.  (Exodus 4:3)  You offered Moses other great displays "In order that [the Egyptians would] believe that the Lord," (Exodus 5.5) was his protector.  Besides, the Pharaoh and his wife still loved Moses.  Pharoah would not kill Moses. And just as surely,  the King or his people in Nineveh will kill me.  Am I to be a sacrifice?  Or speak to me of my powers. 

To Elijah, my teacher, you said, "turn eastward and hide" from his enemies. You even directed the ravens to supply Elijah food. (1 Kings 17:3-4) God, surely my evil enemies and rivals in Niniveh will silence me and your proclamation of their coming judgment well before I can make the three day walk across with your message.  Are you to be my shield?  I leave for Tarshish that YOU might make your proclamation and deliver your judgment directly on the people of Niniveh for their wicked deeds.  Let the idolatrous enemies of the people who keep Your Covenant, perish by your Hand!  Be this your will?  Why must I be sacrificed for your will to be done?  

In your sight I will board a ship leaving for Tarshish "having paid the fare ... to sail with the others." (Jonah 1:3) and I will take sleep in the hold of the ship that you might come to me in my dreams. ("Jonah, meanwhile, had gone down into the hold of the vessel, where he lay down and fell asleep. (Jonah 1.5))

Why do you Lord forsake me still in my sleep. The only voice that came was the captain's who cried out to me, “How can you be sleeping so soundly!  Up, call upon your god! Perhaps the god will be kind to us and we will not perish.” (Jonah 1.6)  All I hear are your angry seas, mad at me. 

Unlike the wicked people of Niniveh, these kind sailors are innocent and do not deserve to die for my disobedience.  As for me, I prefer to die by your hand from your seas for disobeying you, than by the hands of my enemies in Niniveh, so I told those God fearing sailors to  “Heave me overboard, and the sea will calm down for you; for I know that this terrible storm came upon you on my account.”  (Jonah 1:12) 

I was tashlich, cast off, and as "The floods engulfed me;" and "All Your breakers and billows swept over me" and I sunk to the depths, to the pit of Shoel, "I thought I was driven away. Out of Your sight." (Jonah 2:4 2:5)  And, as "The bars of the earth closed upon me forever."  At the time of my final slumber, "When my life was ebbing away," (Jonah 2:8) you came to me, and by your hand I was saved. As Micah, who prophesied Tashlich, from the depths, in the body of a fish I was saved from the evil eye and there I was cleansed of sin. You "provided a huge fish to swallow me."  I remained "for three days and three nights." (Jonah 2:1)  and from the belly of the fish your message came to me, "They who cling to empty folly Forsake their own welfare," (2:9)  That is what will come of the Assyrians.  "But I, with loud thanksgiving, Will sacrifice to You;"  "What I have vowed" from the belly of the fish, "I will perform. Deliverance is the LORD’S!"  And "You brought my life up from the pit.  O LORD by God!"  (Jonah 2.7)

With your word and intent firmly in my heart, you "commanded the fish, and it spewed me (Jonah) out upon dry land" (2.11). I must proclaim your judgement on Niniveh.  I will go at once to Nineveh in accordance with your command.  (Jonah 3.3)  For surely, without any signs of power given to me to display, all the people of Niniveh will "cling to empty folly" and "forsake their own welfare."  I give myself as your sacrifice. Now my enemies to perish.

Link to Part II